Congregation Emanu-El of Westchester: Sermon Archives

YOM KIPPUR MEMORIAL SERVICE - SEPTEMBER 16, 2002

Several moments ago Rabbi Pein reflected on the importance of memory --- of remembering those who will always be dear to us. But those we love leave a rich heritage, and a challenge. To appreciate fully the sacredness of life --- at any age. Therefore, I would share thoughts on a day in August when I spent the hours as a Rabbi, a friend and a grampy.

A friend and a rabbi. I conducted a funeral service at the Temple for Sandy, the father, the grandfather, of my closest friends. Sandy was 94 when he died and, of course, there is the sadness of loss. But before Sandy died he instructed me to celebrate his life; perhaps even tell a joke. And what a life to celebrate --- until the very end.

In the four years before he died at 94 Sandy had resumed playing the violin, searching constantly for the perfect bow, became a computer expert and taught computer at the residence where he lived, helped those he termed "elderly people" with their finances and wrote a book on economics for his 16 year old grandson. Some days before he died, he decided to disconnect the feeding tube, thus consciously making the decision to end his life --- but now he could, once again, take liquids; water, ginger ale, only the best, Canada Dry, broth, jello. After each sip he would turn to me and say "Danny, Danny," we had known one another for many years - "this is wonderful" and his face beamed with the joy of youth. The smile of one who was forever young --- appreciating each simple moment of life. He was dying yet so very alive.

Sandy had traveled extensively in his lifetime but now, as he approached death, he summoned his daughter to his bedside and said, "I need a ticket."
"For what?" she asked.
"For my departure," he answered.
Death was to be a continuation of the journey of life for one who had led a full life --- and never grew old.

Following the service I changed from my dark gray suit and black shoes into white shorts and a light blue t-shirt. It was time to be Grampy. My grandchildren, Claire and Benjamin are approaching four years of age and I had promised to take them to Island Beach in Long Island Sound off Greenwich. With a cry of delight they ran into the gentle surf, straddled plastic trucks that picked up sand, raced for the slide and wondered when my boat, my very own boat, the Island Beach Ferry, would return. Little children --- delighted to be alive - enthusiastically drinking fruit juice as Sandy had enthusiastically taken broth and water.

Later that evening I considered the broad spectrum of the day --- a funeral for a 94-year-old friend --- a sojourn on the beach with 4-year-old grandchildren. So very different. One generation departing this world. Another entering. Yet not really different. Not at all, because both the 4-year-olds and the 94-year-old were celebrating life - and age was not important. At any age we can still experience the wonder of life --- whether it is the hour of sunrise or the hour of sunset. And when, finally, it is time to say goodbye because our loved ones are going home to sleep for the night, or because they have entered the sleep eternal, we take the day into our memory and with courage await the coming day --- imbued with the anticipating spirit of youth, or the youthful spirit of age --- and we give thanks for life.